1) You have deeper self-awareness around your non-negotiable needs and boundaries in a relationship.
2) You have developed the self-worth to express your standards and are prepared to lose relationships which require self-abandonment.
3) You are aware of your triggers and patterns, and are actively working on breaking the unhealthy patterns.
4) You are taking personal responsibility for the betterment of your life instead of blaming others.
5) You are no longer living on autopilot. You are conscious, deliberate, and intentional with your actions, choices, and decisions.
6) When you remember your past relationships/traumatic experiences, there is no emotional reactivity in the body. You can narrate the experience to someone else without getting agitated or emotional.
7) You are open to the possibility of finding love but are not consumed by the desperation. You are looking forward to connecting with people, however, you are not hungry for connection. You have a thriving life that sustains on its own. You are not looking for someone to fill a void inside of you.
8) You have stopped betraying yourself and actively practice self-trust. There is consistent congruency between your words and actions.
9) You are kind to yourself and to others. You have a compassionate inner-voice.
10) You are comfortable with feeling the full range of your emotions without numbing them with drugs, alcohol, partying, binge eating, binge watching, fitness etc.
11) You have started taking care of yourself and hold yourself in high regard.
12) You don’t control or micromanage relationships to force your desired outcome. You have developed internal security and are not overly attached to a specific outcome. You show up as your best self and then whatever happens, happens. You don’t step out of your integrity to make the relationship work. You have loosened your grip and surrendered into deep self-trust.
13) You are not trying to impress people. You have nothing to “prove” to anyone.
14) You aren’t a slave to external validation. You have learnt to internally validate your emotions and aren’t heavily dependent on other people to make you feel safe and worthy.
15) When you get triggered, you are conscious and responsive, instead of being reactive. You are not impulsively reacting all the time and can create space between your triggers and your response.
16) You recognise that the other people’s inability/unwillingness to show up for you is not a reflection of your worthiness.
17) Whenever you fall back into your old dysfunctional patterns, you become aware almost immediately and then get back on track.
18) You are operating from your values, vision, and standards, instead of fear, lack, scarcity (insecurities).
19) Because of practicing healthy boundaries and stating your truth, you feel less resentful in your relationships.
20) You don’t take rejections personally. You are not entitled and arrogant to think that you are perfect and it is always the other person’s fault. However, you don’t unnecessarily beat yourself up. You understand that rejections, a lot of time, have to do with incompatibility/preference mismatch.
21) You are not bitter, cynical, resentful when it comes to love, relationships, men/women.
22) You are willing to engage in hard conversations and discussions instead of sweeping things under the rug.
23) You are no longer being attracted to the rollercoaster, chaotic relationships. Peace has become your top priority and you only invite connections which are healthy, therapeutic, and nurturing.
24) You don’t try to fix/save/rescue people. While you support them, you don’t become their therapist, especially if it requires self-sacrifice.
25) You look back at your past through the lens of compassion and a willingness to learn instead of shaming, blaming, or judging yourself.